


Not a Good Man

by You_are_perfect



Category: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011), Wild Target (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Sex, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 03:28:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/You_are_perfect/pseuds/You_are_perfect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The bad memory still linger even the years had passed on</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a Good Man

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just in the mood~~~  
> ( Hey, someone translated this work into Chinese. You could check it in: http://tieba.baidu.com/p/2921044304 or http://www.mtslash.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=112541&page=1&extra=#pid2092927 )

Another shot, another one die in his hand.

The corpse laid still on the cold ground in the warehouse, silence with the gushing wind that breezing through the windows and door. Blood pooled around the head, coloured the surface with red like blood. 

The killer, Hector Dixon, just stood there motionless, watching his victim that lost it life. Acting like Grim’s partner-in-crime, that man keep doing his job to take people’s life. It’s his job, the only thing that he is better to do with. He’s good at killing.

He hates it. 

His gloved hand put his gun into his jacket, then his hand into his pocket. Even with the glove, his hand still could feel the coldness from the surroundings. He wonder whether it was from the weather, or the situation. Both of them could be worse.

He left the victim in that building, letting the pest and the bird scraping their meal from the dead. He pushed the door with his hand, closing it down with the help of the wind too. The killer closed his eyes and sighed. He opened his eyes back and rose his head up a bit, taking the view of the sky. It was already grey, thick with heavy cloud over it. A few drops of water from there, then the amount of it increase rapidly and become the heavy rain now.

He paced his way to the main road quickly, trying to get the transportation as fast as he could. He was lucky at that time when he caught a glimpse of the black cab appeared. He made a signal so that the cab stop. The cabbie saw it and stopped next to him. The killer dived in and told him the destination he want to go.

It took around a quarter of an hour, then he arrived to his place. It was just a small flat, nothing that could attracted the people to get here. But this is his place, his only home. No place better than home. 

Hector pulled out his wallet and paid the cabbie. He opened the door and step out from the vehicle. The rain hit him continuously with no sign of stop. He took his key and inserted it into the hole. The key twisted and Hector pushed the door and quickly got into his flat. 

As he closed the door, he took a moment to regain his breath. The inner side of this place was barely have any light, only with the help of a candle that is dying. Hector switch on the light and the place turned slighter bright than before. 

He made his way to the sofa and slumped himself on it. He covered his eyes with his arm while the other one dangled slowly next to him. He wanted to forget about it, the whole incident from A to Z. But his mind didn’t let him, it just getting worse since the image stuck in his mind. Damn his photographic memory, why must he have that?

He delved himself into his mind, cutting himself from the world and letting himself to sleep. That’s all he can do now, sleep. 

He tried to relax, throwing all the feelings that gathered inside him. But the more deeper he went, the more louder the voice in his head. The begging, the sneer, the laughter, the mock and worse of all, the question.

The question that he didn’t want to hear anymore. He wanted to delete it ever since he become this. It was harsh, horrible and cruel. He doesn’t want to answer it. He want to never hear it anymore. But the questioner’s sound still playing over in him with the ask that he constantly received when he was boy.

“Why do you even exist?!!”

His abuser’s, or precisely his dad’s, voice suddenly sound very loud to his ear. Hector abruptly rose himself from his position and sat. He panted, feeling like his breath was almost taking away by the ghost. Just thinking of it enough to make him whimper. He pulled his knee and embrace them with his arm tightly next to his body. He leaned next to the sofa and putting his head between his knee and his chest. 

A few trickle of tears flowed from his eyes and wetting his cheek. His body shivered with fear again, even if his dad was already dead a long time ago. He still remember how it happen, how did he made his first killing...

***

Constantly beaten and abused by the old man, the pain and scar was nothing for him anymore. He just a little boy, but the hurt that he repeatedly received had made him a bit immune from his hand. It hurts like hell, but he could hold it.

The leather belt slapped his back over and over again as his hand was bound to both pole at his right and left. Hector screamed with pain and begged for release. His shivering mouth keep chanted for freedom, he want this to stop immediately!

“Why do you exist?!! You are suppose to be dead, rot in Hell! You don’t deserve to be alive!!”

The old man saying his insult and nasty question to his only son. He didn’t care what people thought, just looking at that little boy made him sick. It was more than hate, even the devil’s hate to Adam couldn’t might compete his hate to his firstborn. Ever since he came to this world, love had been deleted from his heart.

Hector didn’t know what to reply. He just beg for mercy. Little did Hector know what was his mistake that he had made to his father. He never told to the little boy and Hector didn’t have any gut to ask him. If being silence enough to make him mad, talking could just thousand times worse. Tears formed from his eyelid like river fallen to his cheek. 

The hit never stopped not even once, it looks like the old man have a lot energy when it comes to beat his son. Hector’s father only had a skinny and tall body, almost looks like a sick man that just escaped from the ward. With eyes that big like owl and face that had not enough meat on his face, Hector’s father really looks like a scary, old and bald man even he was just around 30 years old.

The abusing was held in the underground room, soundproof so no one could listen Hector’s scream. The neighbourhood knew their story, but none of them made any attempt to save the little boy. Mr. Dixon is not a man you want to meet, most people tried their best to keep a distance from him. 

From what they know, Mr. Dixon is a psychopath that married with a nice, lovely woman. Everyone shocked as they heard about their marriage. Still, Mrs. Dixon have a charm that her presence only could make her husband calm and normal. So, people didn’t complaint much with their status. Having someone to control Mr. Dixon’s craziness was a relief.

Until Hector came.

As Mr. Dixon got his wife pregnant, the couple was joy to have a new addition in their small family. They did a lot of preparation for the little one. The husband and wife really couldn’t hold their horse for the day of their baby. With the love that clouded over their head, Mr. Dixon getting better from his mental illness.

Four years.

Four years after Hector’s birth, Mrs. Dixon died. Her life had been taken away by Grim Reaper as she tried to protect Hector from her attacker. The cost of it was a stab through her heart. That drove Mr. Dixon really mad and his mind keep saying that it was his son’s fault for the death of his wife. Thus, resulting the abuse to his child.

Until now, Hector still don’t understand. His father never showed his love towards him anymore. Last time he got it when he had his mother with him. It was six years ago. Now, it just nightmare for every days that passed from year to year. 

When Hector felt like he lose his strength, the boy just sobbed helplessly. He doesn’t want to feel this anymore, he want his father to stop!

Mr. Dixon stopped his hand, thinking that it was enough for this night. The leather belt got thrown away from him and he took his knife on the table next to him. He cut the rope around both of Hector’s wrist. He threw the knife onto the floor and left his son behind him, lying tirelessly above the ground.

Hector’s eyes caught the shiny glimpse from the knife, indicating how sharp the knife was. His small, bruised hand collected it and looked back to his father’s back. A demon inside him whispered something that he never thought of, something that always tempted his mind. Kill his father.

This time, Hector followed the demon’s word.

Hector leaped up and lunged the knife deeply into his father’s back. His father was off-guard, didn’t realized what was Hector planned behind him. Taking his chance, Hector pulled out the knife and pushed it deep again. He keep stabbing his father over and over again.

As his father lost his life, Mr. Dixon’s body falling to the ground in front of his only son. The blood poured out from his injured body and seeping into his shirt. The ruby liquid stained the floor and coloured the knife that hold by an innocent child.

For the first time, Hector felt so powerful and strong. At that exact time, his lips formed a big, wide smile towards the lifeless body that he just made.

***

“THAT’S ENOUGH!!” Hector grabbed his gun and pulled the trigger. The bullet flew away from the hole and went to his door. 

By that time, Peter just step into his flat. The shot almost hit his head, Peter was just mere lucky when he moved his head away from the bullet quickly.

Both of them dumbfounded, eyes wide with confusion and horror. Hector’s hand shaken to see his partner almost got killed by him. He let go of his weapon and knelt weakly, losing his strength completely.

Peter immediately went straight to Hector, but the killer step backward away from him and plead “Please don’t...” 

“Hector, you are-“

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” Hector’s voice rose up, tense with fear and anxiety. “Just go, Peter. You don’t... I don’t... Please, stay away from me...”

The spy doesn’t want to leave him with this kind of condition. He wanted to hold him down, calm his feelings if he could. It hurts him to see Hector being so weak and fragile. Still, he knows stubbornness will not help in this situation.

So he left Hector, closed the door slowly when he was out. Just a few hours and then he will come back.

He will.

***

Peter pushed the door open and closed it back. The scent around this room felt unwelcome and disgusting. He cannot fathom with the smell of it. His nose tried to find the source of the smell and saw something he never thought of.

A few bottle of beers was scattered on the floor. Hector was drinking the beers while leaning himself to the sofa. With his face that had turned into a shade of red, Peter knew that Hector was slightly drunk. Hector is not a man who could get easily drunk. 

He got near to his partner, sat next to him and put down the liquor. Hector let him, tired to make any fight right now. Seeing that Hector didn’t do anything to him, Peter pulled him down and let him lied onto his chest. 

Hector snuggled closer to Peter, placing his head near to his left chest. He could hear Peter’s heart beating, Hector felt like it was the calmest melody he ever heard in his entire life. He let both of Peter’s arm embraced him tightly, feeling safe and protected with his partner near him.

Peter was a bit relief with the Hector’s reaction toward his affection. Hesitantly, he put his head onto Hector’s shoulder and kissed him there softly. It just gentle and soothing gesture for the assassin that Peter wanted to give to Hector now. 

“You shouldn’t come back” Hector spoke to him.

“I don’t want to leave you”

“You’re being stupid, Guillam”

“Hector...” Peter paused “I had made promise not to leave you”

The assassin chuckled “You’re gonna die because of me”

“No, that’s not gonna happen” Peter reassured him the opposite.

“I killed my dad when I was a kid. That’s my first killing. And I don’t regret it”

Peter knew the whole story anyway. Hector haven’t told him yet, but sometimes when he sleep, Hector mumbled about his past and got nightmares from it. Peter heard every single words that formed out from him. Had his father still alive, Peter want to take some joy of crushing that man’s life. 

“I keep killing people. I had fun with it until I get sick of it. I sick to see what I have done. To know what I’m capable of. What if I do the same thing to you?” at the end of the sentence, Hector’ voice almost low and unheard by Peter. 

“What if I kill you?” Hector mumbled, feeling knot inside him to think of possible future that could happen.

The spy didn’t replied to him, instead he pulled Hector’s face back to him and kissed his small lips. Just the touch between their lips only, nothing more than that. Both of the men got their eyes closed, getting comfortable with this intimate touch. 

When Peter pulled himself, he stared to Hector’s deep blue eyes after he kissed him. Both of them locked their gaze to each other, reading the emotion beneath the face. Peter put his hand onto Hector’s cheek and stroked him gently “You’re not gonna kill me, dear. That’s not gonna happen”

“Why are you so sure of that?” Hector questioned him.

Peter smiled to him “Because you love me. And I love you. We both love each other”

Hector almost forgot about that. The feelings that he share mutually with Peter. They both had confessed their feelings once they had a gut a year ago. That’s why Peter stay with him, even if he always being difficult man to be dealt with most of the time. 

The blonde-haired assassin put his arm around Peter’s neck, holding to him like a drowning man. Throwing away his assassin’s persona, Hector let his tear out and muffled his sobbing between Peter’s neck and shoulder. The emotions that had been bottled inside him spilled out at that exact time.

Peter kissed him again, but this time to Hector’s blonde hair. Without Hector noticed, Peter put his hand around his body and his leg, lifting him in a bridal style. He carried the small man to their bedroom. The door that had been slightly ajar was pushed with his feet and Peter led down Hector onto their bed.

Hector had let go of his clutch to Peter, but his tears still trailed from his eyelids. When he felt the space between him and Peter increased a bit, he tugged to Peter’s sleeves and hold him, didn’t want Peter to leaves him now.

Of course that’s not what Peter intend to do now. The spy placed himself next to the killer and again, he embraced Hector tightly with vice-like grip. He put his head on Hector’s head and sniffed himself the scent of him. it was pleasant and nice, Peter likes it.

Peter then cradled Hector’s face with both of his hand, forcing him to look up to him. He swiped the tears and shushed him gently “Shh... it’s okay Hector. You don't have to worry now. I’m here with you now. I’ll protect you”

“I’m not a good man, Peter” Hector whispered.

“I’m not too” Peter reminded him “But we could try to be one too. The past have nothing to do with now”

Hector silenced himself and stopped crying now. Peter running his fingers through Hector’s hair and planted another kiss to his forehead. “Go to sleep, Hector. Everything will be fine after this”

Obediently, Hector do what he told him. He closed his eyes and dozed himself to sleep, letting Morpheus to take over his head and sail himself to dream. A moment later after that, soft snores could be hear from Hector when he finally taken by sleep.

Peter looked at him with total admiration. He had study about Hector before they started this relationship. Peter was surprised to know about his past and his involvement with this crime, but he can’t helped for being sorry as he understand why this happen to him. Besides, if Hector chose other path of life, Peter might be will not meet him at this time.

The spy played with Hector’s hair, he loved to feel the softness of it. He made a vow to stay with Hector and never let anything to hurt his lover. That’s what he promise when he told his love to Hector. 

Starting to get tired, Peter closed his eyes too and sleep with Hector. But before that, he tightened his embrace with Hector, wanted to reassure the killer that he was here and always be.


End file.
